You painted this on our door,
At the Shelter Island house
The Hermit
I didn’t know why, then
The Hermit
Seeker of self-enlightenment
Soul-searcher, on a path of self-discovery
Your journey
You were born in time of great worry
You died in another time of great worry
A baby and an old man, unconcerned
I remember being little
Falling asleep next to you
Listening to your deep, cleansing breaths
A rhythm
The greatest memories of my youth
Asking you, begging you to take us to the Hamptons
Diving into breakers
While you lay on a blanket, reading
Standing on the edge of the surf in late afternoon
Sun fading, wind stiffening
Book in hand, finger between pages where you left off,
Time to go
Time to go
You sitting alone in a movie theater
Color aftershock flickering across your face
I wish I could have sat beside you
I wish I could have seen what you saw
I can’t now
A principled man
A light in you
A light you refracted, you, game changer
A light so many saw in you
Souls you attended
With purpose
Maybe things you didn’t say
Maybe they didn’t matter, Dad
Because a week rarely went by
Without you checking in on me
The sound of your voice
Echoes in my mind
Fear of relevancy, question mark
Anger a gray shroud
The sun hides behind
How a gentle and kind soul
Becomes obscured
You loved me,
Cardinal in the tree,
I know
After your stroke
You looked like you’d grappled with death
A great struggle you survived
The worse for wear
Holding on, a last chance for forgiveness
The greatest thing in life
What you were unable to say
In your eyes
In your breathless voice
You wanted to come home
Someone overheard, and so it is
Goodbye father
Watch over me
